21 August 2013

at home with Mr and Mrs Katwill-Burbs

weekend scene: a living room in an average counties house, decorated in typical middle-class style
- Darling, have you seen my curling tongs?
- I think they’re on top of the microwave.
- Darling, you know we talked about leaving the loo seat up.
- Sorry sweetheart, blame it on the genes.
- Ah yes, your father always had problems with that one, didn’t he. Are you going back to work on Monday?
- Yes darling, Geoff said he needed me back coz the new guy’s not working out. Isn’t your interview with the Spanish magazine this week?
- Crikey that’s right. Must pop into Topshop with Mum and choose some new outfits.
- You’ll remember to mention we don’t approve of hereditary titles, like we discussed? You know I promised Mummy I would try to promote that.
- Of course, darling. Don’t worry your pretty little head, it’s all in my notes.
- Sweetheart, do we have to go to that dinner on Thursday?
- Darling, you know how keen Janette’s brother’s ex is to meet you. I want to show you off!
- You’re wearing your cardie. Are you going to the shops?
- Yes, I need to pick up some bicarb of soda, baby’s been sick all over the rug again.
- Get me a Kit Kat, will you?
- Weren’t you going to give up chocolate for a bit?
- Starting next week, petal.
- Really, if all your promises are kept as cavalierly ...
- Don’t nag, darling, you know I have a lot of stress right now.
- Oh all right. See you later, and don’t forget to put the bins out.
- Will do.